Major point Major point
Successful nonviolent personal self-defense requires never acting like a victim
to remember. to remember.

A question to consider:

When and how have I ever responded with nonviolent personal self-defense techniques?
Answers will vary but techniques and skills mentioned later in the session may be described.

How can we even begin processing what it takes for an "attitude" of personal nonviolent self defense? For help, let's look at this article:

"Nonviolent Personal Self Defense"
Nonviolent Personal Self Defense Part 1, John Looney
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The following case is a startling example of the proceeding article.

Case study:

Cell Block Rape Threatened 
Hardened criminal responds to nonviolence.

Mark Morris had received a five-day jail sentence in San Francisco County Prison No. 2 for participating in a demonstration organized by the Committee for Nonviolent Action. To Mark, both the jail's facilities and its oversight were severely inadequate.

Crowded conditions caused doubling up during the day, in what were intended to be one-man cells. Guards rarely were seen. At night half the inmates, including Mark, were bedded down in the hallway floor on filthy mattresses.

The prison (more than most) was run by inmates. Bobby, a young black ‘trusty,’ clearly the most powerful prisoner on the tier, arranged with the guards to have Mark transferred to his cell. Bobby was cruel, arrogant, manipulative, and terrorized nearly everybody.

Females are not the only victims of rape. From the very first, Bobby verbally made sexual advances and threats to Mark. However, there was no opportunity for them to become physical until the night before Mark was to be released.

That evening when the prisoners were locked up in the cells, Bobby stayed out in the hallway, having persuaded another prisoner to take his cell. While the mattresses were being pulled out, he showed Mark a home-made stiletto he had filed down from a kitchen knife into "a really mean-looking blade," as Mark described it. “At the same time,” Mark said, “Bobby told me he was going to fuck me.” Bobby saved a mattress for Mark at the far end of the hall.

Mark decided to keep talking loudly, but it did no good. Everyone else dropped off to sleep anyway. Meanwhile, Bobby held the stiletto against Mark's throat. But Mark kept on talking. Bobby kept on ordering Mark to remove his clothes.

Mark said he would not and kept talking on and on. Finally, Bobby said he was going to undress Mark and tore at his pants forcefully enough to rip off the buttons. Mark's shirt also got torn.
Right after that, a guard with a flashlight came through on a routine count of the prisoners. Bobby was terrified. He was sure Mark would turn him in. Being found out of his cell, he would be thrown in 'the hole' and lose his good time. If the knife were found, Bobby would be in even more trouble.

Bobby started to threaten Mark to keep him quiet. Before any words really could get out, Mark softly whispered to Bobby not to worry, he did not want to get Bobby into trouble. Mark said he considered Bobby his friend! As the guard went by both stayed deathly still.

Things at that point turned around; Bobby made no more advances. For a long time the two talked with Mark's hand resting gently on Bobby’s chest. Bobby told Mark about his loneliness and his sexual frustrations. Finally, Bobby even cried a little. He said it was the first time he had cried since he was a child.

They also talked about Carl, a very young and inexperienced demonstrator, also arrested with Mark. Bobby had been threatening Carl too, so much so that Carl, on the same night, was lying on his mattress both crying and trembling from fear.

The next morning Bobby found a piece of contraband string for Mark to use in holding up his pants. Also, Bobby promised Mark that he would not touch Carl, who had to serve for a few more days.

Why did Bobby respond so well to this nonviolent approach? Mark listed eight specific nonviolence techniques:

  1. Be clear about your objectives.
  2. Don't be frightened (or if you are, don't show it)
  3. Don't be frightening.
  4. Don't be afraid of stating the obvious.
  5. Don't behave like a victim.
  6. Seek to befriend your opponent's better nature.
  7. In response to physical violence, play it by ear, keeping the confrontation on a verbal-emotional-intellectual level, resisting as firmly as you can without escalating the violence.
  8. Keep talking. Keep listening. It humanizes both parties. The rapist or attacker tends to think of the intended victim only as a ‘thing,’ not as a human being. It is hard to attack someone perceived as a real human person.

From an article by Mark Morris in the former WIN Magazine issue of January 24, 1974.

Not many of us will be in the position of Mark Morris in the previous case, but a few more of us could identify with the potential of the following situation.

Case Study:

He Screamed Anyway
Which turned out quite luckily.

Six years ago I experienced the most violent situation of my life. As I was ready to enter the back door of my house after getting out of my car, a man came up to me and said that someone wanted to see me in front of my house

I was taken aback when I saw the man, but I just talked to him calmly, questioning why someone needed to see me. As our conversation continued, I realized it was all a ruse to try to get me to leave the door and go to the front of the house.

I just continued to resist verbally when I suddenly saw a second man enter my house. It was then that I realized that this was a very serious and frightening situation.

The first man suddenly had his hand near his pocket, told me he had a gun and that I should not scream. After seeing the second man enter my house and knowing that if I entered the house, I would be at their mercy, I gambled and chose to scream, hoping my neighbors would hear me.

At that moment, I heard a gunshot but did not see that a gun was pointing at me. After the shot resounded, the man inside my house ran out and down the driveway and the man holding me also ran away.




From these actions, I realized that the gun must just have gone off accidentally and consequently scared the two "robbers" and saved me!

I certainly did not feel calm but looking back at the incident with the thoughts gained from our workshop, I realized I saved myself because l did not act like a victim. I tried to talk calmly and reasonably to a person who may, in some ways, have been frightened himself of whatever he was doing.

Perhaps I surprised him by my actions and he no longer felt in control of the situation. I feel thankful that I did remain fairly calm but I was not consciously aware of "doing the right thing!!”

Submitted by a teacher from the Shaker Heights School District, Cleveland, Ohio, while taking the ALTERNATIVES TO VIOLENCE course.

The case study was about not acting like a victim and using surprise tactics, and these suggested tactics were successful. However, another main thing to recognize is that person in the story screamed although it is advisable not to scream. This is a hint in the article later in the session, "Some hints for Successful Nonviolent Personal Self-Defense." Therefore, this case shows that not all tactics work for all situations and that you cannot be successful with the entire package of suggestions at all times.  

Now let's look at situations relating to family life and children. 

More schools recognize need to intervene in bullying behaviors that start young and lead to more violence. 

"Bully Richard Gale Interview (Bully of Casey Heynes)" is a video clip about the cause and effect of bullying. 

  1. Why does Richard Gale bully? 
  2. What do we learn about the similarities between Richard Gale and his victim?
  3. How can this video help us to react to bullies? 

In the following two video clips is another situation getting the attention of community groups:

Cyberbullying PSA

Domestic Violence PSA

Here are some suggestions for nonviolent personal self-defense:

Some Hints for Successful Nonviolent Personal Self-Defense
How to act confident, never like a victim

  • Keep eye contact.
  • Care about other and listen actively.
  • Ask questions, try to engage in conversation.
  • State your needs and feelings in “I” statements.
  • Try to respond to the need expressed by the assailant from responses to questions, not the assault.
  • Use surprise tactics, which do not frighten.
  • Offer options and alternatives.
  • Know where to get help.
  • Make noise, break and run away, act crazy and shout but do not scream.
  • Deeply, emphatically, and strongly shout words like “Stop!” and “Fire!”
  • Trying to humanize both yourself and your assailant will surprise and help your control of the situation.
  • Never act like a victim.




For this session, let's close with another most surprising case ending:

Case Study:

MUGGER DIVERTED FROM VIOLENCE
by continuous, calm talking.

In 1972, two young women were walking home on a dark, empty Philadelphia street. Suddenly a tall young man confronted them. Holding a knife at the throat of the woman nearest him, he demanded money. "I have to have money," he pleaded. Clearly he was a junkie desperate for a fix. "If I don’t get money, someone is going to get hurt,” he threatened.

Although they said they had none, he still threatened. The women offered as many alternatives as they could think of.

"Look," said the smaller woman, "I’ll stay here with you. Let Mary go back to my apartment and get you the money."

"No way," he replied, "She'll call the cops."

"No, she won’t. Really she won't. And I'll be here. She wouldn't call the cops while I was still here." But the assailant wouldn't give in. So, there in the empty street, she suggested that all three of them go to the apartment. He gave many reasons for not; it was clear he was frightened too.






"Look, trust us. Come on," she said, looking him straight in the eye. Crazed and irrational as he was, the junkie began to understand that there was no better way out. He finally agreed.

Still threatening with the knife, the man walked with them up the street and into the apartment building, while the two women talked to him quietly and normally, not showing their fear. The woman whose apartment it was went in and returned with a ten dollar bill, all she had.

"Is that all you have?" he shouted. Her heart sank. "But I only need five dollars. I don't have any change. I'm sorry." He stood there uncertainly.

"Take it, take it. That’s all right." Finally, he ran down the stairs and out of the building.

See Safe Passage on City Streets (Samuel), pp. 13-18.

  • Never act like a victim
  • Humanize both self and victim
  • Keep eye contact
  • Offer options and alternatives

Review and Reflect

Major Point to Remember:

Successful nonviolent personal self-defense requires never acting like a victim.

To Reflect: Optional Activities
Materials located on the "Extra" page for applications #1 & #2

#1: Analyze at least two Case Studies: 9A, 9D, 9E, 9F 
#2: Movie Assignment: View "The Interrupters" and answer the corresponding questions.
#3: Application:

Fight or flight are common choices in conflict. Fighting is dangerous under the best circumstances; it is more so when alcohol, drugs, and weapons are involved. To some, flight is admitting defeat and losing face.

An opponent may expect others to be hostile or frightened. Why not be confident and prepared with unexpected responses? The following worksheet may show you additional choices.
Nonviolent Self-Defense Worksheet Download
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File Type: doc
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